The LUXEmamablog is all things lifestyle. While, I usually show glam mom and outfits.. this post (and my stories 🙈) is a bit more personal. A look inside our family life. It’s often nerve wracking knowing how many of you read this and the possibility of people mom shaming. I hate that part of the blogging world. I know this is what we signed up for but we are still normal moms. With that said, I’m beyond thankful to have such an amazing platform to share our lives. I’m excited to open up a bit more to you all in 2019!
The compromise to have baby number 4 was that I would have to finally hire help. In all seriousness, if it was up to my husband, he would have an entire team helping us. Don’t get me wrong, He’s super hands-on… baths, bedtime (no diapers yet), but is all about having help to make things easier.
Currently, and for the last couple years I’ve had zero help. My husband travels back to Chicago for work. So I’m pretty much on my own. No set babysitter (except for rare date nights!), no nanny, nothing. (I Def have help with cleaning my house- I’m NOT superwomen 🤣) I’m not trying to toot my own horn at all. I don’t need a pat on my back or anyone telling me how awesome this is. It’s just my personal choice. I enjoy knowing I’m doing everything for all my children (insert type A personality) Sure, at times, it’s overwhelming and I feel like I’m physically and mentally exhausting myself. Isn’t this motherhood though? I don’t know that answer. I truly believe a happy mom is a good mom. Motherhood is full of Mom guilt and judgment… This is what I am NOT about. I am the least judgmental person you’ll meet. I could care less if you have an entire staff or if you have 12 kids you are raising yourself. Motherhood is hard regardless.
The reason I have chosen for the last couple years not to have any help is because of two things: my type A (wanting total control) personality. I totally admit it. No one can do it as good as me… The little things that is. Make a bed, make lunches, fold the laundry correctly (😆)it’s gotten pretty bad. I just completely gave up trying to let people help me for this reason. Reason B. I don’t want to miss a single moment. I want to be the only one there to kiss their boo-boos. What if I miss a smile from my newborn baby? I always wanted to look back and remember the times that there were blood, sweat and tears (literally) raising these babies. To remember the moments of an overwhelmed mother… And then I could enjoy being old and having the silence (aah).
Now having number four, I’ve come to the realization that I WILL miss things. I’ll actually miss a lot of things. I can’t be everywhere at the same time. I’m only one person, one mom. It’s ok that now I need some help. I’m accepting this reality of letting the small things go.
My dream is to have a big family, but also something really important to me is having one on one time with each of my children. That means missing other times with the others. Then there are moments that I think I would enjoy motherhood more if I had some help. I feel like it’s a win/lose situation. I’m ready to find out.
With that said, my nanny starts next week. To say that I’m nervous is an understatement… To let somebody in on our lives to help raise my babies is a huge deal for me. Will that mom guilt creep up on me?
Something I’m looking forward to focusing on is gaining a sense of myself back and not just a (surviving) mom. I’m so lucky to have this opportunity. This includes working out more, being a more attuned wife, and the enjoyment of working more (aka blogging!). It’s truthfully so fulfilling. I guess I can call myself a working mom!?
This is going to be one of my most successful years and I’m so glad I have you guys here with me… Supporting me, following me, inspiring me. In reality, it actually consumes many hours of my day (I’m up late content planning, emailing, pitching) … I look forward to working and growing this blog with you all. When I’m doing something I love, whether that’s being a mother, a wife, a friend, a blogger I do it with dedication. I remember being made fun of when I first started blogging… People just don’t understand this blogger world. That inspired me to take this to the next level. To show them it’s more than just taking pictures and getting free clothes. This year has taken me places I could have never dreamed. I am so lucky to have all of you here and have such a great platform to share my life with you. To all the moms out there, with help or no help, you are AMAZING. This is the hardest job in the world.. also, the best job. xoA💗